Just me

I have been in my new home for a week and I am pleasantly surprised that everything appears to be going smoothly. No bricks through the window a courteous nod here and there and life goes on. My paranoia appears to be unfounded. Knowing me, I will wait a few more weeks to see what happens.

I am totally out at work (well everywhere actually) and today was the first time I have had to lay down the rules at work about a few things that they were doing wrong and harming the company. I was expecting a few comments about not listening to me etc. In fact I was able to clear the air and get some respect. Interestingly the rest of the admin staff were surprised at how I dealt with it.  No wonder the company is just drifting. It is really refreshing to be accepted for who I am and the role I do without my gender being of any significance.

Yesterday was the 21st birthday of my son. Hr has been living with my eldest daughter for a couple of years, for logistical reasons not because there is any difficulty between us. We met for lunch with other members of the family. It was the first time we have all met since lockdown and isolation. It was also the first time we have all met since I have had my hair coloured and styled. When I had my hair done I also had my nails done. Nine months ago I would have been concerned about whether that would have been okay and in all likelihood wold have removed the nail polish before meeting. As it was it was a complete non event my hair and nails not being mentioned at all. Just a good family lunch celebrating my son’s birthday. As it should be, my transition was of no significance.

I have been surprised at how freeing having my hair coloured and styled has been. It has boosted my confidence hugely in how I accept myself.

It is these small but significant steps that allow me to realise how my transition is progressing. This is the time now just to keep going and allow me to be myself, accept myself and stop worrying about being transgender, I am just me.

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