Visibility

I am at an interesting stage of my transition. In some ways I am both visible and invisible. To people who don’t know me I am now an ordinary person and don’t appear to stand out enough for them to take any notice. This is of course famous last words but I have had no abuse or evil stares for a while now. I am sure that is largely to do with confidence. I believe that if you show you are afraid or anxious  then that shows and can send out a signal to those that are so inclined that you are a potential victim and it is safe to have a go.

People at work just see me as a colleague and take no notice I am just me and I am one of the girls in the office. Having started working with a new company I have always been me to them. I am just the person to come and talk to if they have a problem to sort out.

Then there are my neighbours who see me day in and day out. I am treated as I would have been before I transitioned with a nod or a smile and a “good morning”.

Generally, the people who knew me before I transitioned have got past the novelty factor and just use my name and we get on with how things were before. 

I suppose this goes to how one deals with Transphobia and the TERFS. I am coming to the view that trying to lead a full and “normal” life is the best way forward. I can understand why people go “stealth” to protect themselves and might even be tempted myself, (my chances of doing that are slim since I am six foot without heels and I will always stand out). However, I do feel that it is important to own being transgender for those that follow in our steps. If there had been more role models or probably more accurately more visible trans people it would have made my path easier.

I see this as the way forward, entering into reasoned debate when opportunities arise and avoiding getting trapped or drawn into the slanging match that is currently raging between the TERFS and transphobes basing everything on biological gender existentialism and trans gender activists.