I am finding it quite interesting, challenging maybe as I am on the cusp of a major change in the next few weeks. I am really looking forward to the changes and the prospect and opportunities of doing things and living differently.
As I have written before I am troubled about the political agenda which is anti woke and anti trans, so that I am moving north of the border to Scotland feels really positive. Coincidentally returning to the country of my birth. Despite some strident voices anti trans north of the border, the general climate and the statements from their First Minister are positive and confirming.
I am going to be house sharing again with the same couple I have previously shared a house. It is two years since I moved out to Wiltshire and set up on my own in a rented property, mainly for work reasons. So returning to a shared house means downsizing, streamlining. They already have a furnished house and there is no need or indeed room for any more. I will have my own room and the share the house.
Today the first collection of furniture for the charity shop happened. Having loaded what they had come for they walked round the house letting me know what would be accept on their next visit. It all feels remarkably freeing.
Loads of files and boxes being sorted through, memories good and bad surface. I used to hang on to “things” to remind me of memories whereas those memories are in actually in my head. There are a few special gifts, tokens that carry meaning and they are treasured and to be kept. One of the hardest selections has been culling my books. I have seen them as “friends”. Some I have had since university, decades ago, and not read since but they were important to me at the time shaping my thoughts.
I have also noticed that since transitioning I am able to be much more in the present, more able and wanting to live now. In a way those books, my friends, were also a distraction from living now. A way of living through other worlds, other people’s lives.
It feels as if this is the end of a cycle and a new beginning beckons.I am looking forward to the changes.