The name for this blog. I received a post from an App I follow which came in with the heading “It’s never too late”. It is a new moon, the new moon represents a new start, a blank slate and a fresh start each month. It says “during this month you may potentially be finding a new path, one that is more aligned with your authentic desires”.
If you have read much of this blog before you will appreciate that it matters to me about being authentic. I have spent far too much of my life not being authentic pretending to be something I was not. Bad habits are hard to change, I have discovered that it it does not happen at the flick of a switch.
I started this blog nearly three years ago. The title came from the idea, the concept that it was never too late to transition to accept who I am. I have described it before as being like an unstoppable train, no matter what you do to deny it, to hide from it, if it is genuine, for real it will force its way out.
The App today says it is never too late to find a new path. It resonated with me. I moved some nine weeks ago to Scotland. For a new beginning. I have taken most of that time doing mundane things settling in, acclimatising signing up for doctors etc, etc. When I moved I had in the back of my mind that I would come as me. I would do my best to stop apologising for being me. I have transitioned and I do not need people’s approval to be me. At the doctors it is inevitable that I have to explain about being a trans woman. So far they appear to be accepting which is lovely.
The first real test came when going to a new hairdresser. My previous hairdresser had been known to be trans friendly, that was why I went to her in the first place. I had googled for a trans friendly hairdresser in my local city and it had come up blank. So I searched for a hairdressing salon I liked the look of and in the end found one and made an appointment. Right to the morning of the appointment I was still worrying about whether I should call and say I am a trans woman…is that alright? I didn’t. I turned up and had a great time with my hair being restyled with highlights. Did the lady knowI was trans? Probably. I have no idea, it didn’t come up. It did not matter. We chatted about all sorts of things. I love the restyle too.
A few days later I spent the day in the city nosing around finding my bearings in a new place, going into shops, having a meal. I felt good just being me with my new hair, authentic.
I now understand that I have transitioned. Some people will accept me, others will hate me, hate my very existence, tell me there is no such thing as being transgender, that I am deluded. They have not been in my shoes, they have not experienced my feelings, they tell me I am wrong to be me.
I do not need to apologise for being me. It is time to go out and live my life authentically without apology to make his new start a real beginning aligned with my true authentic desires. It is never to late.
It's never too late.... 