An Instant Bestseller in the Sunday Times Non Fiction List in its first week of publication. The Transgender Issue written by Shon Faye. I had pre-ordered the book  and have found it to be a really refreshing and compelling read. Shon Faye talks about Trans Liberation rather than Trans rights  and indeed the whole polemic is that Trans Liberation will benefit all society. The basic concept is political and a call for “solidarity between all marginalised people and minorities”. 

The book quite simply is a thorough examination of  what it means to be transgender in society from childhood, adolescence right through to old age. Shon Faye does this by analysing the effect in the workplace, in housing, healthcare as well as how being trans fits in, or not, with the LGBTQ+ and feminist communities.

Dealing with the current debate over trans matters in the press which has become increasingly polarised Shon Faye says we are having the wrong conversation. It is not about trans rights are human rights, trans people are not joining in a conversation but have rather become “a talking point and are denied a meaningful voice”. 

The book was being written at a time when society was changing. People were beginning to think there was a possibility of change, maybe not everyone needed to go into an office every day, there was a growing disconnect with politicians, the black lives matters movement developed, a growing feeling against racism, that climate change is a reality. 

Shon Faye argues that seeking equality in a corrupt society is not a desired outcome. Society needs to change and it is with a left wing agenda where all minorities and marginalised groups are able to come together and create genuine social freedom and equality for all by using “conceptual tools of structured politics and collective action’ with a shared hope for a better world”. 

I was particularly moved by her final sentences in the book:-

“Hope is part of the Human condition and trans people’s hope is our proof that we are fully human. We are not an issue to b debated and derided. We are symbols of hope for many non-trans people too , who see in our lives the possibility of living more fully and freely. That is why some people hate us they are frightened by the gleaming opulence of our freedom. Our existence enriches this world”.

For now this seems to be something which is not yet possible to grasp, that right now is out of reach. However, it also feels that the time is now and the time is right for such a radical approach to challenge the cynical capitalist world in which we live.

Judith Butler endorses the book by saying “This is a monumental work and utterly convincing- crystal clear in its understanding of how the world should be”. 

Unlike many books written about transgender “issues” this impeccably researched and annotated and I recommend it as a must read by anyone, trans or not, who believes there has to be a better way and change is necessary. 

I find it really difficult to accept that there is a real movement to destabilise opinion in relation to trans people. I have come across an academic article published in the International Journal of Sociology written by Craig McLean entitled the “The Growth of the Anti-Transgender Movement in the United Kingdom. The Silent Radicalization of the British Electorate”.   The heading of the article states:- “The article examines the development of anti-transgender debates within the UK which have gained traction due to proposed amendments to the Gender Recognition Act. A group of determined lobby groups, taking their lead from like-minded organisations in the United States, has protested vigorously against the proposed changes to the GRA, especially with respect to single-sex spaces. As a result of the furore, the lives of transgender people have become the subject of open debate. Trans people now see their legitimacy questioned, and their ability to access services increasingly being placed under the microscope. This article argues that the literature on radicalization- developed in response to terrorism- can explain these developments. UK Lobby Groups are successfully pushing a radical agenda to deny the basic rights of trans people and are doing so under the cover of “free speech- a sacrosanct element of Anglo Saxon Countries.”

A Trans activist, Katy Montgomerie, has challenged Gender Critical people to state what they consider will be the result of the proposed changes as it would appear that in reality there is little understanding of what the proposed changes would have meant. She has written an article  for medium.com “Gender Critical People don’t even know what the GRA is “. She has also produced a “fun chart” showing what the proposed reforms would do.  In it she shows that the main points of contention to allow trans women to use women’s toilets and changing rooms, to allow trans women access to women’s shelters, to allow trans women to compete in women’s sports, to determine which prison trans women goes to are all already legislated for. These are all already covered by the Equality Act 2010.  

The Gender Critical are mounting Judicial Reviews to try and reinterpret the Equality Act. So far their efforts have all failed catastrophically with judges saying their arguments have no basis in law and are completely without merit.

The Green Party (England and Wales) have got themselves in a twist having published their position which contained transphobic content only to have the Scottish Greens denouncing it  and then the Green Party (England and Wales) to come out and say that what was published had been published before it had been considered and approved by the appropriate sub-committee.

As the Young Greens said they “stand in unwavering solidarity with trans and non-binary people, and celebrates that trans men are men and that trans women are women and non-binary identities are valid. There is no debate about people’s identity, or human rights”. As it should be.

Another surprise this week. At the Manchester Pride event a gay person was escorted away from the event by the police. As you would expect this has caused some consternation and opinions have been flying back and forth.

The person in question was simply wearing a LGB Alliance T shirt. So what is wrong with that it is gay pride after all? The pride events grew out of the Stonewall fight against homophobia so surely a gay person should have every right to be there. Sadly, the LGB Alliance is transphobic and is campaigning against trans people on the basis that it is not part of and its inclusion is damaging the gay community. In fact the person ejected, a gay man, is complaining that he feels excluded from Pride despite his rather “limp” protest as Pink News reported it.

In truth being gay does not mean you are entitled to be transphobic. The crowd that made their presence felt and expressed their view that he was not welcome because of his transphobic stance was a majority gay crowd. It was not a transgender event. LGBT is a Lesbian Gay and Bi event which includes trans people. Yet the LGB Alliance supporters are up in arms that a gay person was escorted away from the event by the police. 

There are many theories about the LGB Alliance, whether it should hold its charitable status, whether it is funded by right wing evangelistic groups. Whether any of that is relevant I do not know. It is clearly anti trans in its stance and Pride is an inclusive event, include trans people.

It seems to me it was provocative to attend a Pride event wearing a LGB Alliance T shirt, it is also concerning that a majority of gay people present were hostile to someone being present wearing such a shirt. It has been asked how come a gay person can attend a Pride event and be harassed by gay people to the extent that they needed police protection and to be escorted a way? The answer would seem to be that the majority of gay people accept that Trans people are going through the hostility that gay people did when Stonewall was set up and the original Pride events began.

I have no time for the kind of protest and hostility that was seen in Manchester, the way forward has to be by talking and education. Resorting to “bashing” any minority, gay or trans is just totally unacceptable although I fear it is becoming more prevalent. I would prefer Trans activists not to resort to the aggressive tactics that often surface as such aggression fuels and polarises the debate. I am also aware that unless people stand up for trans rights they will be rolled back and disappear. It is a hard balancing act.

I had my annual review with my Consultant Psychologist a few days ago which was an empowering experience as I realised how far I have come in relation to my transition and that, as he confirmed, I have transitioned. One of the topics we discussed was that of transphobia and I had explained that the lockdown had meant I had developed some anxiety which had not really been there, or at least I was dealing with it, by being out and about which of course I had not been able to do in the same way.

His practice is almost solely involved with trans care both privately and within the NHS and his take was that although transphobia had reached alarming levels he felt that it was starting to slow down a bit and be seen as the extreme minority fringe it really was. He brought up the recent Gender Critical arguments saying that women were in as bad a situation with the woke trans activists in the UK as the Afghan women were with the Taliban which he saw as the most ridiculous view and beyond belief showing the stupid extremes that the gender critics were prepared to go to but did them no favours.

He also told me how he has experience with the Welsh Government and that they had made a position statement saying they aimed to be the most friendly LBQT country in Europe and that all of their GPs in the Welsh NHS were to be trained and brought up to speed in relation to trans healthcare. At the weekend the SNP and the Green Party agreed a form of co-operation in which Trans rights and Self ID reform were at the top of the agenda. Their proposal there would no longer be a need for a clinical diagnosis of gender dysphoria. Needless to say that the gender critical have raised their concerns saying the Scottish Government should follow the Westminster Government’s decision to drop such legislation.

We also discussed the question of Gender Recognition Certificates. I had raised this as I needed the required letter from him to submit, in my case, to the Scottish Government. I was interested that it was his view that anyone who wants a GRC should get on with it before Westminster become more difficult. On a couple of instances recently, he had had to amplify and change the information he had previously supplied for  a GRC certificate recently. He felt that there had been a hardening of the position and that the goal posts may be moving. I was pleased that mine will be going to Scotland.

So hopefully I will have a GRC in the not too distant future and all of the appropriate paperwork will be done and completed. The fact that the two devolved governments seem willing to move forward however I do see as sign of progress and just perhaps there is a chink of light on the horizon.

I have been following the GMC Tribunal with interest. From what I can gather the interest in Dr Webberley’s practice came entirely from other professionals who disagreed with the way in which Dr Webberley, as part of her work, gave affirmative care to young people. It seems that these colleagues did not have anything against her provision of care for adult trans people when this process was instigated. There have been no complaints about the provision of care from her patients.

The type of affirmative care that Dr Webberley was providing was an approach that was accepted treatment in the U.S. and other forward thinking countries but was not the orthodox treatment in the United Kingdom. What the real difference is that there is a difference of ideology as to how young trans people are treated and that this difference of ideology comes from differences between experts and what they consider is the right approach.

What the GMC wanted Dr Webberley to do was to close her clinic until the GMC had carried out and concluded their investigation.  The difficulty in doing that was that if she did that then there was nowhere for her patients to go to receive care. I understand that it was not just a handful of patients, I have seen a figure of 2000 or so patients who would have been left without care. The GMC suggested these patients should wait until they could be seen by the NHS. Such a comment is just ludicrous, the waiting lists are horrendous often four or five years and if affirmative treatment was the treatment best suited to assist the young patients then it would have been too late by the time they were even given their first appointment. So far it has taken four years for the case to be considered irrespective of whether any of her patients would have got so far as a first appointment.

When I first looked for treatment for my dysphoria I approached my GP who looked aghast and actually totally blanked what I had said. I had been self medicating with phyto-estrogens and I knew I had to try and get my treatment regularised. I found Dr Webberleys service online and registered with Gender GP. I had no concerns with the level of care I received going through detailed questionnaires and providing information so I could be given the correct prescriptions. I was and am extremely grateful for the support which I could not get anywhere else. However, none of the GPs I registered with in that period would enter into a joint care agreement with Gender GP. The more the GMC pursued Dr Webberley the harder it came to be able to use their services. When I tried to book an appointment for surgery I needed the two referral letters. I got one from Gender GP and one from Dr Lorimer, (through his private practice). My surgeon made it clear that the referral from Gender GP was not as acceptable as that from Dr Lorimer. It was suggested I should get another referral letter from a more regular body. In fact they did take the letter in the end. I had no option but to consult privately as although referred two years ago I have heard nothing form anyone (in fact you begin to wonder whether a referral has even been made) and with my advanced years I do not feel I have the luxury of time.

There is simply completely inadequate support for Trans health care in the UK and I hope that Dr Webberley will be exonerated for any criticism in relation to the actual health care she has provided. No doubt there may be irregularities in relation to registrations which may allow the GMC to save some face for having conducted this tribunal, however Dr Webberley through her dedication and suppor of trans people has without doubt saved lives and I hope the Tribunal decision will reflect that and allow her to practise again. 

Another week and I have been beginning to get used to going out again. To be honest it is only to a limited extent but it is really the first week since restrictions were eased.  I don’t think the rule on wearing face masks should have been lifted in the way it has been and I have been interested to see how many people are still wearing them and how many shops have signs asking people to continue wearing them when they enter their shops.

I had a business meeting yesterday and had agreed to meet the person at a local hotel. I knew it to have spacious indoor spaces so nobody would be on top of each other and that it also had quite extensive outside tables should it not be raining! What did surprise me was how full the hotel was with most of the tables being used for serving “afternoon tea”. There was a quiet corner where it would have been possible to sit socially distanced but as it was a sunny day we took the opportunity of sitting outside in the garden which as well as being outside the tables were well separated.

However that is really a different issue. What I took away from yesterday was this was of the first times I had been out in a primarily a social setting for over twelve months and that the nervousness and anxiety which had crept in through lockdown had largely ebbed away. My strategy of presenting with confidence was working. My confidence has been strengthened by the voice work I have been doing and to receive many “Madams” with no sarcasm or pointed irony was a real boost. Apart from yesterday’s experience I use the phone  for work and I have realised that I have not been addressed as “Sir” in the last ten days. I knew it would make a difference to sort out an acceptable authentic voice. I had not realised how much of a difference it would make and how it reduced the anxiety of going into places. There is still quite a bit to do yet I know now I am on the right track to establishing an authentic voice. The key to this is about your voice being authentic, it seems it has little to do with the actual pitch and more to do with the subconscious assumptions we all have about our expectations of how a feminine voice should sound.

I still say that the key to being able to operate in a manner which reduces anxiety is to be confident in who you are and I would whole heartedly recommend the inclusion of voice work to make it easier.

I have been continuing with the voice therapy. It has been really revealing in ways which I could not have possible expected. I have been trying to sort feminise my voice frankly for years with in truth very little result. I have been able to put on a feminine voice (or at best an approximation of a feminine voice) but have not been able to maintain it. Apart from that, the voice always sounds put on and silly. Clearly it is not my natural voice.

I mentioned in my last post the object of the course I am doing at present is to find and establish my authentic female voice. I have in the past had no difficulty in finding a pitch that “voice apps” say is feminine. However, it sounds false and definitely not authentic, nor am I able to maintain it past a few sentences.

The stunning revelation to me is how the brain interferes with the process of making changes. It has been explained to me that the brain hears your attempts at change and put simply says that is not your voice and rejects it.  The brain adopts a sort of “no I am not having that” or  “computer says no” approach. It is not simply a question of finding the right pitch etc, which I thought it was, it is also about training the brain to get back in its box and accept the new normal.

The exercises I am doing are designed with that in mind and I am astonished at how effective they are. I am beginning to produce  a feminine voice which sounds authentic to which the brain is not saying “no way”. Surprisingly, it is at a significantly lower pitch than  that I had been trying to achieve.

What has been more revealing to me is how the brain cancels other changes which you wish to take place. I have looked at how it seems to have interfered with the very idea of transitioning. I have known for decades that I am transgender and have taken steps over time towards transitioning, moving slowly forward. My heart and soul have always known and have always had a goal to live my truth. Yes there have been a lot of “sensible” reasons for delaying as time went on, yet is has really struck me that what has been happening is that my brain, as with my voice, has been unconsciously protecting me from the change. It was not until sometime after I had fully transitioned that there was a day when a switch changed and I realised I had transitioned. I was no longer transitioning. There is a lot more to do, for example my voice, but it is as if my brain had said on that day “okay have it your own way” and had stopped the “no I am not having that” approach.

There is another area of my private life where the same has happened. As with my wanting to transition, my whole being wanted and still wants to follow this particular route. So far as I knew, or was aware, I was doing so and making progress even if I did concede I was a slow learner. Quite suddenly, out of the blue, I have experienced the same awareness in this field. Again the brain seems to have said “okay get on with it”. I was completely unaware of how my brain was resisting the change. I am totally frustrated by this secret weapon of destruction which seems to reside in my brain and am really cross with myself for not being aware of it before.

The result of the voice therapy is that it is giving me so much more than an authentic voice. By dealing with the resistance over the voice changes it has given me an understanding of the secret saboteur that has been working in my brain to prevent change. It feels transformational.

In my last blog entry I was concerned about the negative impact of social media and how it causes me a degree of anxiety. in me. The other side of social media can be illustrated by how I have been able to start working on improving my feminine voice. I follow various transgender sites and on two of them I found a recommendation for a speech therapist who amongst her repertoire include voice feminisation. Previously I had seen “names” who specialised in this area with transgender clients and who seemed to be really expensive. Sometimes, I feel that people take advantage of a minority group and the fact that to get speech therapy under the  NHS is rather like trying to locate a hen’s tooth even if you survive the waiting lists to be referred anyway.

However, I have become tired of being “Sired” on the phone despite my best efforts. I find it quite demoralising. I had been working with an App for a while and according to its assessment, my voice was 98/100% in the feminine range when reading out the various pieces. Clearly not a view shared by the general public.

Having seen the references, I contacted the lady in question, Louise Milner Smith. The recommendations came from the Gender GP and from Steph’s Place. Louise offered a free initial assessment and discussion as to what would be entailed so I thought what was there to lose.

I was really impressed with her and her approach. There was no bullshit it was put bluntly all technical stuff about which she clearly knew what she was talking about. The idea of having to give your vocal chords a “work out” to retain them, give them stamina, teaching you to breathe differently so that the breath you use for your feminine voice comes from your chest and not the lower diaphragm were all news to me. My voice was my voice, surely I just had to raise the pitch and find a way to maintain it.

Well that was a mistake. I was suitably impressed that Louise knew what she was doing that I signed up for a few weeks to see how it went. I have now had two sessions following the initial assessment. I have been so surprised how Louise has already made a real difference. The exercises she has designed, which start with retraining the way you breathe and are then followed by various sounds before you even say a word have already made a significant difference. The initial exercises carried out in a whisper for only five minutes at a time are designed to increase the strength and stamina of the vocal chords. It is so simple yet so effective. Louise describes the 5 minute workout as equivalent to a one hour cardio workout.

There is still a long way to go, however I know this is going to work and I look forward to being referred to as “Madam” when on the phone in the future.

I have been mulling over the whole question of social media. I regularly look at and read all sorts of information on various platforms and in the course of my transition it has been a really useful tool. In many ways a support network. By having insights into other peoples’ lives enabled me to gain perspectives and exposure to many different views of what being trans was and how different people went about transitioning, part time, full time and what difficulties I might expect to face.

Being trans can be very isolating, especially for someone of my age, so it was also a way of becoming part of a community, a way to make contact with other people in the trans people. Although, particularly with the onset of the Covid difficulties, I have not been able to arrange many meets there are possibilities and a willingness with contacts to meet up. 

So why am I even thinking about it? There seems to me to be two diametrically opposed views. I suppose the main social media platform that has mainly sparked these thought is Twitter. I feel it is a positive influence to be able to follow twitter accounts of, in my case particularly trans women, to share their experiences of how they have fared through their transition how they have dealt with issues, their take on passing, not passing etc, etc. A sharing of a common experience. 

The other side which I am beginning to feel is a negative experience is the constant reporting and ongoing battle of transphobia and gender critical animosity. This is not an occasional phenomenon, it is incessant virtually on an hourly basis. In some ways I take no notice, or at least try to take no notice. There is no reasoning with the transphobes or gender critical they are set in their view. Recently there have been several articles linking the organisations with far right extreme movements with very substantial financial support. This it appears is a deliberate attempt to undermine minority groups and is not just limited to transgender issues. It feeds into the Woke Wars, the politicising of “taking the knee” etc. Perversely, the racial abuse following the Euro Cup finals  appears to have triggered a reaction from the decent majority of people that enough is enough and such racial abuse is not to be tolerated in a decent society. I can only hope it may be a turning point.

I have said that the key to a successful transition has its basis in confidence. This is something that you build. It does not come with the flick of a switch. It comes with experience, finding that the earth didn’t open up and swallow you when you first went out of the door dressed, that most shop assistants are friendly or at the least couldn’t care less. It is discovering that the deliberate mis-gendering is just spiteful and not life threatening. It took some time for me to reduce the anxiety of such fears. To not be terrified at every step that something awful was about to happen.

I am finding that the constant negativity in social media is raising my anxiety. Because it is so “in your face”, reporting every violent attack it feels that this is a majority view. This is how everyone thinks and will treat you, whereas my actual lived experience is different. I have many discussions, arguments, over the whole issue of being trans with people set in their ways (mainly older people) and we agree to differ. They cannot experience what I have felt, how it feels to come home to living your truth. It isn’t something of which they can conceive being at one with the gender they were assigned at birth.

So I need to consider whether I can find a way to live with the social media, stopping the constant negativity from impacting on me and keeping the benefits of being informed. I do not want to lose the hard earned confidence of being able to get on with living day to day because of the heightened anxiety. This is not to close one’s eyes to what is going on, just a need to keep a balance and perspective.

As expected this case has now been referred back to the Employment Tribunal who will make a decision as to whether or not Maya Forstater’s behaviour was discriminatory in relation to trans people. 

The Appeal decision made no finding and indeed went out of its way to make clear that it was expressing any view on the merits of Maya Forstater’s case as to whether her actions and how she expressed her gender critical beliefs in her behaviour to colleagues was discriminatory. Indeed it went on to say that with actual discrimination cases  there is no change and that they will judged on a determination of their specific facts in each case.

What this means in effect that the decision that the gender critical belief being a protected right does not mean it extends to speech or conduct that constitutes harassment or discrimination against trans people. The Judge, Choudery J, deliberately stated mis-gendering trans or non-binary people may well fall foul of the Equality Act as well as breaching other laws.. He said that gender critical beliefs cannot be used by those that hold them to “indiscriminately and gratuitously refer to trans persons in terms other than they would wish” and also “ the fact an act of mis-gendering was a manifestation of a belief falling within s.10 of the Equality Act would not operate automatically to shield that person from liability” in relation to a claim for discrimination or harassment.

The result of this is that the law on this will be built slowly on a case by case precedent where individual facts will be considered about how people have expressed themselves and in what context including the workplace. This means it will be necessary for individuals to continue to bring claims so that the full effect of the decision and it limited application can be clear.

When it comes to the Appeal decision of Choudery J, I would hope that this too may be looked at again since the Judge’s distinction that Maya Forstater’s belief may not be on a par with those of the Nazis  it could be argued that gender critical beliefs do treat trans people in a way which fosters their dehumanisation and that the rights of trans people are threatened and could be seeking their ultimate elimination. The Woman’s Human Rights Commission has called for the elimination of transgenderism. Many other groups including Sex Matters, a group co-founded by Maya Forstater, puts forward views that transwomen are simply sexual perverts and fetishists.  The persecution of the Jews by the Nazis started by their dehumanisation and their being robbed of their basic humanity.

It is important that these views that dehumanise trans people should not be allowed to build a culture of dehumanisation which will allow trans rights to be rolled back and eliminated.