This week I have been surprised by a change of heart I have had. I have been quietly coming out to work colleagues on a new project I am involved in. To my surprise they have all been supportive on the face of it, or at least not difficult. I will write about that in another post.
One of them to my said he wanted to do whatever he could to help and support me and for me to be happy. On its own that was lovely, however he has a good friend who is an aesthetic plastic surgeon and he promptly arranged an appointment for me to see him and to have an appraisal for facial feminisation. My immediate internal response was hey this is my body I am not sure I want anyone messing with it. That seemed really ungrateful and as my colleague, now friend, had been so generous in arranging it I went to see the surgeon with a degree of trepidation. My friend accompanied me and introduced me.
As you might expect the surgeon’s bedside manner was impeccable and put me at ease. This was followed by him examining my face pulling bits of skin this way and that way and then advising me that he would be able to make an effective difference in feminizing my face.
Basically he suggests moving my hairline forward, lifting my eyebrows, tinkering with the tip of my nose, maybe shortening my upper lip by a fraction, inserting infills into my cheeks, trim my ear lobes…. It felt like a major rebuild to the point that I enquired “will my children still recognize me?” “Yes it will all be quite subtle” was the response.
I made it clear I was not seeking to be turned into a beautiful woman. I need to be realistic, I am a transwoman of mature years and all that I would be aiming for would be to blend in more easily and as a consequence hopefully reduce the level of transphobia I might receive. I would expect still to have some wrinkles, that would be appropriate.
It was left that he would write a report with his recommendations which I am waiting to receive.
So where am I on the idea of surgery now? Having gone with expectation of no way this is not going to be for me……I have to say I am tempted. I have noticed that some of the highest profile transwoman have undergone facial feminization and although I haven’t seen their before pics, the after appearances are successful.
The key for me would be if the surgery made the difference so that the subliminal recognition someone made of my gender was other than male. Ideally being read as female or at the worst androgynous confusion. If that was to be the case then yes I am tempted. Food for thought.