Is it worth it?

I know the answer is yes and I do not really know why I am doubting that at all. I have been lucky enough to have survived and got through my gender dysphoria for the most part. I have transitioned. I have been extremely lucky with the way it has gone as I have set out in earlier posts.

All I am doing now is tidying up the loose ends. I have already changed my name and evidenced that with my driving licence and passport. Why is that not enough? Truthfully I am not sure. I would like to obtain a GRC yet the forms although simple enough seem daunting. The statutory declaration is straightforward. It’s the application form. I have lived in my new gender for longer than I can evidence it as the necessary paperwork for the tenancy etc were all in my deadname so I could prove my income. I have the Statutory Declaration as to when I changed my name for the NHS. I did this so I could try and get my HRT prescribed on the NHS. I have now had three different NHS surgeries (as a result of moving house) and two were willing to prescribe HRT on the NHS and one wasn’t.

So I need two medical reports from a practitioner specialising in Gender dysphoria. I think I can do that. Of course the Consultant Psychiatrist does not give out his telephone number so no doubt that will cause a problem. I do consider that it is necessary to have proper checks.  I am going through various hurdles relating to surgery. I have two recommendations for referral for surgery but then one of them became more than twelve months old so has had to be refreshed. That’s okay except there is a six month waiting list to see the Consultant privately. By the time that comes round the second report I already have will be over twelve months old too. I am arranging to see another Consultant to see if  I can manage to get two reports valid at the same time so I can book up surgery.

Of course that is totally ignoring that I was referred to the GIC over a year ago and have not even got anywhere near receiving so much as an acknowledgment. 

I am a mature transwoman and time is not on my side so I will persevere with scraping the funds together for medical reports and surgery. It sometimes seems unnecessarily hard and today is one of those days. Such days are very few and far between. I do know and appreciate how lucky I have been and what great support I have had and continue to have. Frustration occasionally gets the better of me!

Is it worth it? Yes of course it is. Living life knowing who I am is an enriching and freeing experience. I am no longer haunted by the years of dysphoria. I would like to tidy up the loose ends so that there are no more things to fix and be able to get on with living and dealing with ordinary life and issues.

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