Author Archives: emibee1

I have been reflecting on Gender following a reread of Conundrum by Jan Morris. The book that caused my light bulb moment of understanding that I was transgender and not just a weird freak…well maybe that too but not in respect of my gender dysphoria which I at last began to understand. In Conundrum JanContinue reading “Gender fluidity”

Maybe this has been a long time coming……I am not sure, as I was unaware that it needed to come at all. All my life I have been wanting to be something other than I am, or is that was?  The obvious one was that I wanted to transition. However, that is with hindsight. IContinue reading “A long time coming”

I have been isolating for the best part of eight weeks now. I am being shielded by the people I share the house with as I am in what is classed as a vulnerable group. People talk of the “new normal” when the reach of the virus is contained. I feel this is true andContinue reading “Still isolating”

I have been wondering about the effects of being more centred again in myself. It seems to me that as I grew through my teen years and into adulthood my life became distorted by my gender dysphoria. It took most of my energy. I made sure I had no time to dwell on anything. AsContinue reading “Music”

Stages I have been reflecting on the various stages I have passed through while transitioning. Not the act of transitioning itself more the various aims and goals that I have passed through in creating my current style of womanhood. Although I feel at the moment where I am is more or less the end productContinue reading “Stages”

In this unusual time my self-isolation continues and although continuing to work from home I am amazed by how much more time I have to reflect on my life.  I have transitioned late in life. It is easy to say how I wish I had done so years ago, my life would have been soContinue reading “Reflection”

I hadn’t realised that Dolly Parton’s song Travelling thru was the soundtrack TransAmerica, a film about a pre-op transwoman on a road trip across America. When I realised that it was I looked up the lyrics;- I’m out here on my journey, trying to make the most of itI’m a puzzle, I must figure outContinue reading “Travelling’ thru’”

While I am in isolation I have been looking back and wondering why it took me so long to transition. I know I am “mature” and I was growing up pre-internet but the main reason preventing me from transitioning was fear. It seems there were many stages before I came to the realisation that IContinue reading “Fear”

I am self-isolating. I am taking the necessary precautions recommended and washing my hands frequently so `I am hoping I will be safe and come through this fit and healthy I miss not being able to go the beauty salon for my electrolysis which although that was painful, the whole experience added to my femininityContinue reading “Settling in”

Sadly, I am of an age that is covered by the request to self-isolate though this virus pandemic. In fact it is likely in the very near future it will not be a matter of choice. What does that mean for my transition. The first casualty is an appointment with a Consultant Psychiatrist who hasContinue reading “On my own”